Here in Oberlin, there's lotsa rain fallin from the skies. It's not too bad, but you still might wish you'd remembered to bring your umbrella. It's can actually be a nightmare for people wantin to eat some pie to enjoy the lacka blistery winter winds. Seein' as how its pie day an all. We should all be eatin pie in ninteen minutes. What to do if you're outside?
The answer, dearest friends, is waterproof pie! Available at your participating hardware-bakery stores, waterproof pie is just the thing for rainy pie days like today. People will walk around an see you eatin pie an be amazed when they see the delectable, impervious dessert in your hands an marvel at how the rain comes down an doesn't soak your pie into a crumbly, wet, hopeless mess.
Now I know you don't all think you're perfect, an I think you should really eat some pie today, preferably at what is by now fourteen minutes from now. But if you're thinkin, it's too accurate for me to eat pie at exactly 3-14 1:59, save it for later in the day, or wait until July 22. If you wanna know more about that you should spend some time readin the comics of the hilarious Ryan North; I'm thinking a this one specifically.
As for me, I gotta go find some pie in nine minutes. Waterproof pie!