Friday Pie Blogging: The Monday, Not Pie, and Not Russian Edition

It's been a while since me an Giblets seen a real pie. Lotsa imposter pies, like the pirog, which tries to fool you with it's puffy crust an fruity innards, but upon closer inspection we've determined that it's not actually made a pie.

Then, some days when we're sittin' down for lunch, they give us a plate a this stuff that's supposedly pie. These 'pies' are individually-wrapped for your health and better concealment a the truth. The package proudly asserts it contains a 'choco-pie'. It's doubly misleadin', because we're sittin' at a Russian Table, so we're expectin' Russian food and we get 'choco-pies' an then they turn out to be unappetizing little coated spongecakey sandwich cookies.

So, I stand up with my 'choco-pie' and heartily declare it's unpieness an then Giblets throws his at the wall, an it bounces off and hits Little Debbie in the back a the head, an she takes one look at it an says they're copying her an runs off to tell her mother an the U.S. Patent Office. Then someone suggests that we go to Stolle and get some pirog, which is like pie. But it's not. So I sit down and stare sadly at my half eaten banana.

All I'm lookin' for is somethin with a normal crust, maybe made a graham crackers or maybe just pie crust, an normal pie insides, but I'm not seein' any pie in Russia. Musta ate it all back durin' the blockade. That explains it.

Life is good.

The pressure of weekday-based pastry posts has been lifted; the Fafblog is back.

Friday Pie Blogging: the Waterproof Friday Edition

Here in Oberlin, there's lotsa rain fallin from the skies. It's not too bad, but you still might wish you'd remembered to bring your umbrella. It's can actually be a nightmare for people wantin to eat some pie to enjoy the lacka blistery winter winds. Seein' as how its pie day an all. We should all be eatin pie in ninteen minutes. What to do if you're outside?

The answer, dearest friends, is waterproof pie! Available at your participating hardware-bakery stores, waterproof pie is just the thing for rainy pie days like today. People will walk around an see you eatin pie an be amazed when they see the delectable, impervious dessert in your hands an marvel at how the rain comes down an doesn't soak your pie into a crumbly, wet, hopeless mess.

Now I know you don't all think you're perfect, an I think you should really eat some pie today, preferably at what is by now fourteen minutes from now. But if you're thinkin, it's too accurate for me to eat pie at exactly 3-14 1:59, save it for later in the day, or wait until July 22. If you wanna know more about that you should spend some time readin the comics of the hilarious Ryan North; I'm thinking a this one specifically.

As for me, I gotta go find some pie in nine minutes. Waterproof pie!

Friday Pie Blogging: the Travelin' Pie Edition

Travelin' pie mostly hangs out on trains an Greyhound busses an sometimes airplanes an always diners. Travelin' pie never hangs around for too long, so you gotta catch him an say hello when you can. This is the perfect time for that, seein' as how travelin' pie's here right now.

What is travelin' pie? you ask. Well, friends, travelin' pie is any sorta pie that feels like it's been sittin' in the display case at Perkins isn't how it envisioned it's life, and takin' a break and headin' out into the unknown for a while might do it some good. However, travelin' pie frequently becomes homesick pie whenever it gets too far from the good ol' bakery where it grew up, and that's why you see it hangin' out at all the diners. This means whenever you see pie at a diner, you should maybe eat it, since it'd be puttin' it outta it's misery, an' all. No one wants sad pie.

Sometimes pies travel for days, weeks, or years. If you encounter a pie that's been travelin' for years, you might not wanna eat it. This particular piece a pie that stopped by left town in mid-January, an' I hear he traveled in a refrigerated train car. I bet if you ate some it'd be okay.

Gotta be quick, though. Catch him an have a bite; he's only here a coupla more days.

Friday Pie Blogging: Initiative Thursday Edition

In response to Fafblog's depressin lacka updates, I've decided to take it up myself. What prompted this, you ask? Why, maybe it's cause I ate that big slice o' pie this afternoon! Initiative pie!

Most folks don't know about initiative pie, on accounta the fact that you can't find it in the store. See, initiative pie is only initiative pie when you make it yourself from scratch. Serve it up at family gatherins all you want, but it's not gonna make your relatives more helpful. O' course, you could disguise the recipe as lemon meringue, an have the kids fix it. That could work.

Anyway! So initiative pie makes the you thinka things, talk them over with yourself for a coupla minutes, an commmit to 'em indefinitely. Like takin over the responsibility o' roughly weekly pie-based internet posts!

Initiative pie is also good for the college student crowd, speically those who're headin into fall break this week! Since you clearly put off studyin for your midterms until the last minute an spent the last week stressin about papers an stuff. So during break - bake some initiative pie! An eat it! Then you can do research an prepare for classes next week and have some relaxin times when you get back! It'll be great!

Warning: If you're not careful about cookin it long enough, initiative pie doesn't turn out quite right. It kinda becomes meets-the-minimum-requirements pie. But you can still eat it, seein as its pie an all. Tastes pretty good.

...Turns out another parta initiative pie is that you have to go find your own picture of it. Specially since my computer's not wantin to load images properly.