Second-Graders and Gender

I work in a local school district with before- and after-school Title I programming. Since I'm working mostly with the middle range of elementary school (2-4 grades), I'm interacting with an age group that is still figuring out how adults interpret gender boundaries. It's fascinating.

I don't think my coworkers realize it, but I get "Are you a boy or a girl?" a lot, especially when there are a lot of new students. I really strongly feel that a simple answer doesn't do the question itself justice, and doesn't fully represent who I am. I aim for addressing gender honestly and casually when the subject comes up. Through my interactions, I want to teach kids that the answers to gender questions aren't cut-and-dried, and also that gender questions are okay to ask!

I've had many good experiences. There was the second-grader who thought I was a boy for weeks, and didn't seem bothered to learn that most people assume I'm a girl. There was the new third-grader, who called me 'he' when talking to her friend. Her friend 'tattled', and it was pretty wonderful watching this friend realize that I wasn't even the least bit offended. Of course, there was also the third-grader who, when making a paper monster as group activity, was lamenting (loudly) the fact that their monster was a boy but it had long hair. I never managed to persuade him that a boy monster can have whatever kind of hair it wants.

One experience sticks out as particularly difficult: A second-grade boy had asked about my gender, and he said he thought I was a boy, which I told him was okay. A week or so later, when I was out of the room, he and another student asked my coworker (albeit probably not speaking with as much respect as they should have),

"Where'd that other dude go?" "Yeah, where'd he go?"

My coworker got very defensive on my behalf. Taken aback and offended, she asserted,

"You mean she? I don't think her parents would have given her the name they gave her if she was really a boy!"

I cringed inside when my coworker relayed the conversation to me later. I was worried that the boy was going to think I hadn't taken his question seriously, or worse, that I'd lied to him, or had been making fun of him the previous week.

All of these fears were quelled today. This boy came up to me, and asked again, as if it had never happened the first time:

-- Are you a boy or a girl?
-- Most people think I'm a girl. What do you think?
-- I think you're a boy.
-- That's okay!
-- And half girl.

Now if only everyone else in my life could be a little more like this second grader...

Winter and Warmth

I haven't been posting much recently because there's been a lot on my mind, most of which I don't feel like sharing yet. I do, however, have a lot of photos to share. Mostly of knitting, but I'm sure you guessed that.

As usual, it's been mostly lace that's been occupying my time, with a few smaller objects in between. Some of these projects are brand new, and some of them are merely received some long-overdue individual attention.

But first, a photo of the local park.

Socks for Dad:
Pattern: Gentleman's Socks in Railway Pattern, by Nancy Bush.
Yarn: Jawoll Aktion, purchased at Loopy Yarns, in Chicago, IL.

Orenburg Lace Shawl, by Galina Khmeleva.
Yarn: OnLine Supersocke 100, purchased at Smith's, in Oberlin, OH.

Pattern: Cobweb Lace Stole, by Michele Rose Orne.
Yarn: Pagewood Farm Willow Creek; Colorway: Bird of Paradisa.
Purchased at the Yarnery in St. Paul, MN.

An original vest design.
Yarn: Mission Falls 1824 wool, purchased at the I'd Rather Be Knitting Yarn Studio in Long Grove, IL.

Ethan's Knucks.
Pattern: Knucks, by Pamela Grossman.
Knit in leftover wool yarn from stash, probably Nature Spun.

Pattern: Lehe Square Shawl, by Nancy Bush.
Yarn: Cestari Traditional Wool, purchased at Knits and Purls in Roseville, MN.
Modifications: since I knit this in a worsted yarn, the edges are pretty solid, so I figured I'd axe the lace border.

Andersonville Re-knit Mitts.
Improvised pattern. I made this yarn into an ugly hat, which I frogged. This looks better.
Yarn: Lorna's Laces Shepherd Worsted in Andersonville, purchased at Loopy Yarns in Chicago, IL.
The stitch pattern is from the Herringbone Rib Socks, by Kristi Schueler.

Recently, I started attending a UCC church near Amoeba's place. They're really nice, and just had an art show, so I displayed three shawls. The red is my first lace shawl, Laminaria, by Elizabeth Freeman, and the Crown Prince Square and Lehe Square shawls, both by Nancy Bush. The yarns are Skacel Merino Lace, Jaggerspun Zephyr, and Cestari Traditional Wool, respectively.

My current work in progress: the Maikell shawl, by Nancy Bush.
Yarn: Pagewood Farm Willow Creek in Really Red, purchased at Borealis Yarns in St. Paul, MN.

Oh, and I bought this at Borealis, too. I forget what it is, but it shall become something grand.