I have barely managed to stave off tears.

1. The
2. alpaca
3. sweater
4. isn't
5. fitting.

A brief play. Featuring the Voice of Reason (as played by the hypothetical presence of Cory) and Bethany.

VoR: There, there. Tell me about your gauge swatch.
B: I totally knit one! It was long and skinny, and was on size 6s, I think. It mostly was to test out colorwork patterns. The colorwork goes around the bust, and below that on the body is ribbing. So I knit that on size 5s. I cast on 240 sts. I took the ribbing, and measured the gauge unstretched, and stretched, translated both of those into the body measurement (which yielded 220.5 sts and 262.5 sts). So I picked one in between.
VoR: So you cast on 240 and started knitting. Then what happened?
B: I knit 6.5 inches, and transferred it to waste yarn, to try it on. It looks a little bit too big. It stretched a little, but it could probably stand to be smaller. It should be about 40 sts smaller by the time I hit the waist, but it could be about 20-32 stitches smaller right now, too.
VoR: So, when you say it doesn't fit, you mean it's too big?
B: It's at that point where it might be too big that it looks a little off and I won't wear it much. But it might be okay. I can't tell. I really wish you were here to give me an opinion. Am I crazy for considering steeking?
VoR: You're a little crazy, yeah. It's probably not the best way to handle it, yeah. You should probably fix it, though. It's better to take a long time making it, than to end up with a sweater that you don't like. That's not even the uber-perfectionist in me talking.
B: So I'm going to lose about 40 sts, at least. It's too late to be starting those now. Do you think it would work for me to go back a couple of inches and start them there? Rather than frogging the whole thing.
VoR: That could work. You should be really careful with your measurements, though, and plan the decreases out. If you wing it, you might have to go back again. Since you didn't swatch the ribbing the first time, use this as a swatch, and measure a few times before you take too much of it back.
B: This sweater is going to take forever.
VoR: It won't take forever. Maybe a while. But then it will fit and it will be awesome!
B: I guess.

Thanks, hypothetical Cory, for helping me get through this. You and the theraputic Koolhaas hat are going to make it all okay.